military marriage rules

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Sara Zlotnik is a journalist with 10 years of experience, and a wedding writer for seven years. Her work has appeared in Philadelphia Wedding Magazine, Washingtonian Weddings, Bethesda Magazine and The Huffington Post.

Military Marriage Rules

Charice Harris is a fact-checker who focuses on lifestyle, beauty and parenting. He was engaged in scientific research for almost twenty years.

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Exchanging wedding vows is a significant life event rooted in many traditions, and a military wedding is no different. In fact, there may be more customs if one or both spouses are currently serving or have served in a branch of the United States Armed Forces. That said, the experience will still be about celebrating the couple's union — with a little fuss and occasion.

To dive into the most common military wedding traditions and customs, we consulted expert Bree Carroll, military wedding consultant and event planner, and Ian Wise, owner of Annapolis Military Weddings. If you are attending a military wedding soon or planning one yourself, read on for the information you need to understand and appreciate the experience.

A military wedding does not have to be held on a military base. Couples can choose a location of their choice, and military chaplains can perform the ceremony outside the base chapel, Carroll said. That said, if you're interested in a church specifically affiliated with a branch, be aware that there are certain requirements you must meet. For example, the Naval Academy Chapel in Annapolis, Maryland, is an especially prestigious location for Navy weddings, but to marry there, at least one member of the couple must be a graduate, employee, or active duty military. Members assigned to a geographic area. Keep in mind that decor options may be more limited and priests may want to meet with you before the wedding for pre-marriage counseling.

It is up to the couple to decide whether or not to wear military uniform to the wedding and whether or not they want to wear the uniform of the participants. If the couple wants to incorporate uniforms into their attire, they should show it off in the invitation suite.

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For military branches where there are many types of uniforms, the season of the wedding usually determines the uniform to be worn. For example, in the Navy, the dress uniform changes from blue to white in early summer. That is to say, if one of the couple chooses to wear white, the wedding party members should follow suit. Also, uniforms are non-negotiable for everyone participating in the Arch of Sabers (more on that in a moment) and these uniforms must be identical to what the member of the uniform pair wears.

One thing you won't see in military wedding fashion: the boutonniere. "A medal is the only proper decoration," says Wise. "If you're wearing something that doesn't go with your uniform, you're considered 'out of uniform,' so no boutonnieres."

Any service member attending a wedding in uniform must maintain the personal appearance of their military unit. For men, this includes a clean-shaven face—if, as Carroll points out, the member is exempt from shaving—and a haircut of a certain length. For women, it adds, this can include natural nail colors, certain hairstyle requirements and simple jewelry such as earrings. The U.S. Army recently updated and expanded its appearance guidelines to be more inclusive, so know that more flexibility is possible in your desired wedding day look. Guests who are not in uniform are not required to observe the rules of beauty and appearance.

During the ceremony, high-ranking military personnel (captain, admiral, general, etc.) are given a place of honor behind the close relatives of the couple. When coordinating a wedding day, Wise often reserves special parking spots for these distinguished guests.

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At the reception, Carroll recommends adding a "guest of honor" table. These tables are placed next to the wedding couple's table and include the highest ranking military personnel who are accompanied by their families or dates. From there, officers of the same rank and their dates or families are grouped together at the same table.

Each military branch has its own nuances that correspond to rank and status. For more detailed information, Wise regularly advises on service etiquette.

It is customary to display the American flag at military weddings, as well as the union flag of the couple getting married. Flags are often flown on either side of the altar, with the American flag on the left and the unit flag on the right.

One of the most unique and widely recognized military wedding traditions, this unique tradition goes by slightly different names in different branches of the US military. In the Army and Air Force, it is the saber arc, and in the Navy and Marine Corps, it is the saber arch. Regardless, the tradition dates back to British military practice and represents the military's promise to honor and protect the newlyweds.

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Arch of Sabers takes place immediately after the wedding ceremony and almost always takes place off-site if the ceremony is held at home. (This is especially true if the ceremony takes place in a house of worship, as weapons are almost never allowed to be displayed or drawn in a house of worship, although different branches may have different rules about the ceremony taking place at home. . . )  ​​In this tradition, six to eight military personnel—whether military allies or local may be honor guards — line up in pairs facing each other, then cross their unsheathed swords to form a tunnel. The couple exits the ceremony through the Talwar tunnel and enters married life under the symbolic protection of the military. "As the couple passes through the last pair of swords, members of the group drop their swords to stop the couple and the couple must kiss before the swords return to an upright position," says Carol. "It makes for a great photo."

It's certainly not unusual to hear a service branch's signature song at a military wedding. Many couples choose the National Anthem as the exit song at their ceremony, but it's not the only option. "If there are multiple ministers from different branches, a fun way to determine who is in the room is to play branch songs and ask members to stand when they hear their song," says Carol.

Although it's not part of any official canon, there's another familiar tune you'll hear, especially at Navy weddings: "You've lost the feeling of love." (We have

To be thankful for that!) At first glance, in a heterosexual couple, the groomsmen usually surround the bride and then sing to her at some point during the reception.

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If a member of the wedding couple is an officiant, the couple can (and often do!) use a sword to cut the wedding cake. Usually, military couples give their spouses a sword, and both members of the couple put their hands on the sword and cut it into sweets.

Although not a tradition specific to the military, a popular wedding idea for military weddings is to have the couple fly the American flag as they leave the reception. Wise asked guests to write wishes for the newlyweds on paper airplanes and fly them as parting words. This is a very interesting idea for a pilot. Hannah Nowack Hannah Nowack Senior Editor of Weddings MagazineHannah writes and edits articles for The Knot Worldwide, focusing on authentic wedding coverage. Hannah is passionate about DE&I and plays an integral role in providing content for The Knot. Highlights all voices and all love stories. Prior to The Knot Worldwide, Hannah was the Social Media Editor at Martha Stewart Weddings.

Are you dating someone in the military? Maybe you are a soldier yourself. Regardless, you may have questions about military weddings. Military weddings are steeped in tradition and are a great way to honor both